Saturday, July 31, 2010

They Auto Know Better

For their 1969 line, Ford's ad campaign featured this better idea ad.

All these years later, the light bulb still hasn't gone on for Harry Reid or Robert Gibbs.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Reid, in talking about the auto industry bailout, said --

"Isn't it a good thing today in America that we have an automobile manufacturing sector? If it had been up to them [Republicans], General Motors would be gone. If it were up to them, Ford Motor Company would probably be gone. Chrysler definitely would be gone."


Ford was not part of the federal bailout.

Gibbs took on Rush Limbaugh and every other critic “sitting in the cheap seats” –for criticizing the rescue of General Motors and Chrysler as a “government takeover” that smacks of socialism.

"you should ask Mr. Limbaugh — I don’t know what kind of car he drives, but I bet it’s not an F-150.”


The F-150 is a not a car, it's a pickup truck and once again Ford was not part of the federal bailout.

Here's another better idea for the federal government from Ford.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Helen Wheels?

The Big Lug Nut's campaign has carjacked Terry Branstad's campaign vehicles.

Uh, oh, Terry Branstad’s Winnebago is a no, no!

Branstad bought two vehicles for his campaign after consulting the director of the Iowa Ethics and Campaign Disclosure Board.

Iowa campaign law prohibits a campaign from vehicle purchases. Campaigns, instead, are required to lease.

The director of the state agency has now admitted his error -- “I gave them improper guidance, It’s my mistake, and I apologize...".

Culver campaign manager Donn (the second N is silent) Stanley showed some road rage saying -- "This is a continuation of a pattern of the Branstad operation believing they are above the law."

Stanley is making an issue of it because Branstad signed the law 19 years ago and he should know more than the man whose job it is to administer it.

Stanley's solution?

I think what they have an obligation to do is disgorge this from the campaign."


That sounds like something the Big Lug Nut needs to do to drop a couple of tons and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Son Of A Gun

Outgoing, in more ways than one, State Representative Wayne Ford has a solution for the 4 shootings that have occurred in his district this week.

"The answer is jobs, jobs, jobs."

4 shootings and you're only offering 3 jobs as a solution?

That doesn't add up, you're not trying Wayne and the scientific community is united in that fact.

What about your organization Urban Dreams?

Where's all that dough go?

It looks like some entrepreneurs may already be ahead of Ford on this.

The driver of a passing car stopped for one gunshot victim and took him to Broadlawns Medical Center.

The victim did not know the person who took him to the hospital. He gave the driver $50 and did not see him again.

In another instance, Hospital security officers told police a shooting victim was dropped off in a white Chrysler containing three other young men. None stayed at the hospital.

Shooting Chauffeurs?

Cabs for the Capped?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Scat Man

It seems at least a couple of reporters need to brush up, or widen, their knowledge of music and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Jason Clayworth calls the music, in Terry Branstad's What Jobs? ad, reminiscent of “Hee Haw”.

Ed Tibbetts of the Quad City Times offered -- The video, which has no narrator, just country music...

Gloom, Despair and Agony on you both because I hear scat throughout the mostly thirty seconds before it ends with a brief banjo breakdown and a yee haw.

Hey Bartender

I'm amazed at the Big Lug Nut's campaign, and some in the medias buy in, that I-JOBS isn't about jobs.

The name I-JOBS must be confusing them and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Even before Culver called it I-JOBS, his proposed less catchy Rebuild Iowa Infrastructure Investment Bonds (RIIIBs? ...mmm ribs) was designed to "create jobs" and "strengthen the economy".

He then used his “Shovel Ready” tour to show the immediate impact the I-JOBS program could have.

In early community visits to places like Clinton, March 2009, Culver emphasized -- "This proposal is all about job creation and economic development".

"This is going to allow us to create not only really good construction jobs....but, potentially a number of really good paying permanent jobs".

"What we're trying to do with this bonding proposal...we want to create jobs, we want to invest in bricks and mortar, we want to invest in economic development opportunities".

In September 2009, James Q. Lynch of the Cedar Rapids Gazette weighed in with -- As its name implies, Iowa’s...I-JOBS initiative is about job creation.

However, his next sentence showed the problem -- So where are they?

Lynch found the possibility of employment for 20 bartenders and three clergy.

Dave Price, until he took a break for the birth of his son -CONGRATS!, has hounded Culver and company since April over how many jobs have been created.

Because the jobs aren't there, and to take advantage of the Lake Delhi dam crisis, Culver's camps have tried to shift focus to flooding.

Culver campaign manager Donn (the second N is silent) Stanley criticized a Terry Branstad ad (What Jobs?) as showing “a combination of being arrogant and being out of touch that they are attacking a program that has been helping flood victims at a time of another big flood.”

The administrations official spokesperson, James Flansburg, said of the job numbers, “That’s only one element to it.”

Tim Albrecht, a Branstad spokesman, put it -- “Changing their message midstream does not change the fact this program has failed to create the number of jobs promised.”

Midstream...LOVE IT!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Thinking of the post below (Add Two More To The Unemployed) I can't help but wonder if having his head up his ass makes the Big Lug Nut's butt look bigger?

Looks like we have our answer and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Add Two More To The Unemployed

Remember all the harping Iowa Dummycrats did about passage of extended unemployment benefits?

It was pure political demagoguery and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Iowans miss out on unemployment benefit extension

The Big Lug Nut decided last year not to seek a change in the state’s unemployment law and that has resulted in 13 fewer weeks of benefits being available to out-of-work Iowans.

Because the BLN did not pursue a federal program for which Iowa qualified in September 2009, potentially 18,000 Iowans missed out on extended unemployment benefits for private-sector workers that were funded by the federal government at no cost to the states.

This is the same man who said (video below) -- "I've been leading the charge in terms of extending unemployment benefits".

During the debate over the extension, Iowa Workforce Development had to use words like "about" and "could" when describing Iowans eligible for additional unemployment benefits because they new the truth that those people wouldn't qualify.

Rozanne, err Taxanne Conlin showed how ignorant she was by lambasting Senator Grassley for ignoring "the men and women of Iowa who are now struggling to provide food for their families, keep a roof over their heads, and provide medical care.”

Blame the Big Lug Nut!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Yes We Can Can

It seems that the latest polling is showing anyone can beat President Obama in 2012.

Public Policy Polling has Obama trailing Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich and is tied with Sarah Palin.

Even one proud owner of a "Hater" T-shirt would vote for Palin over Obama because -- If this nation is subjected to another four years of Obama's lunacy, it likely is finished, kaput, toasted.

Is Team Obama worried?

You betcha and the scientific community is united in that fact.

White House sends 2012 rescue team to Florida

Enough with the Hope & Change, it's time for Hope & Crosby in 2012.

At least you know they'll be on the road or out playing golf.

With Bob Hope having been gone for almost 10 years now and Bing Crosby deceased for nearly 33, they couldn't do much worse.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


I'm not sure how this escaped detection all these years.

John Deeth and Tony Rezko look eerily similar and the scientific community is united in that fact.

If you put a red beret on Rezko it would be a mirror image.

If Obama senior White House adviser David Axelrod, with Deeth, had whiter hair (and less on top) he could pass for Rezko too.

Then that has to mean Deeth and Axelrod could be doubles.

I'm done now.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Lawyer And The Farmer

I wonder where trial lawyer Rozanne, err Taxanne Conlin will come down on this issue?

Assistant Secretary for Tax Policy Michael Mundaca had confirmed last week that the Treasury department is considering granting trial lawyers a tax break that could cost the federal government $1.52 billion over 10 years.

On one hand, Conlin has stated she's running for the U.S. Senate because..."I'm fed up with tax breaks for the very wealthy..."

However as a very wealthy person, with assets between $12.5 million and $46.8 million, she has taken tax abatement on her $1.7 Million home and has received $64.2 Million in housing tax credits.

She's also garnered the support of trial lawyers, and the scientific community is united in that fact, having recently jetting to Canada for a fundraising junket.

I'm sure she'll find some loophole that will let her support the trial lawyer tax break, especially since her opponent (Charles Grassley) sent a letter to Treasury urging the department "not to make such changes in the government’s enforcement of the tax laws, absent a clear direction from Congress or to comply with court decisions."

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hope You Didn't Notice Another Change

President Obama and the Dummycrats painted Republicans as bad for wanting the extension of unemployment benefits to not add to the nation's deficit.

Last November, when signing a prior unemployment benefits extension, Obama bragged...

"Now, it's important to note that the bill I signed will not add to our deficit. It is fully paid for, and so it is fiscally responsible".

He was for it before he was against it?

His Senate seat must have been next to John Kerry's and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Better Cut That Out

Designed to save $50 Billion by 2012, President Obama signed a bill (Improper Payments Elimination and Recovery Act) to cut improper payments made by the government.

Never mind that the federal government's improper payments totaled $110 billion last year, which was the highest amount ever.

Also, the legislation doesn't require agencies to return recovered funds to the Treasury, but allows them to use the money for other activities.

Great, an opportunity to make more improper payments within the same agency with the same money and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Power Windows?

Lt. Governor Patty Judge was all excited about her ride in a plug-in hybrid electric car owned by Consumer Energy.

"This project is really very interesting and cool."

So cool that the Iowa Power Fund gave them a $19,000 grant in May 2009 to study it.


"This is the future."

The future is not a 2008 Toyota Prius Patty, and the scientific community is united in that fact.

What has Consumer Energy learned in nearly two years of study?

The plug-in battery used in the vehicle does not work well in the cold.

Very interesting!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Meet & Greet

I ventured down to the capitol city of Warren County, Indianola, for a visit from Republican Lt. Governor candidate Kim Reynolds.

Right away I noticed the Big Lug Nut's "spy" was seated at a table.

The beret was the giveaway, who does he think he is -- John Deeth?

I went over and struck up a conversation, letting him know I'd seen the Jason Clayworth blog post that outed him.

Noting an over abundance of chairs stacked in the back of the room, I told him I doubted he'd have to worry about giving his up his seat this time.

I found out he was originally from Cedar Rapids and I then mentioned my radio stop at The HAWK (KHAK) in 1980.

He let me know that was before he was born -- OUCH!

All in all, he was a very nice, polite young man with a good sense of humor.

I let his boss, Ali Glisson, know (via e-mail) he represents the campaign well.

The event was to begin at 11 a.m. and the small gathering didn't have to wait long as Mrs. Reynolds walked in at 11:01 -- not bad.

She walked around the room and introduced herself to each attendee and then began her talk which was comprised mainly of her personal and professional background.

She opened it up to Questions, so I asked how the Branstad-Reynolds administration would handle department heads who didn't comply with state law (like at DNR), misspent taxpayer money (such as at IABD) or the IDED film office fiasco?

She said she had talked with Governor Branstad and the key was getting good people to run the departments because that reflects back on you.

I asked what would be the first thing the Branstad-Reynolds administration looked to accomplish the day they take office, but before I could finish my question she knew exactly were I was going and mentioned Vilsack's (The Pickle) executive order that restored voting rights to felons.

I told her it was like she read my mind.

After the Q&A was complete, she again greeted people individually and I thanked her for coming.

I found Kim Reynolds to be energetic, enthusiastic, with a passion for Iowa.

She will make an excellent Lt. Governor and the scientific community is united in that fact.

House candidate (District 73) Julian Garret was in attendance and he stopped to talk, mentioning he reads the Liter. Thank you for that and your check is in the mail.

I will say I was disappointed in the attendance size, but the schedule wasn't released until Friday and Warren County went for Vander Putz.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Blame It On The Rain

Iowa's unemployment rate remained at 6.8% with the number of employed Iowans down.

Wait, that can't be right because the Big Lug Nut promised it would be better by now...

"And I guarantee you by late spring and summer, we're going to have a record amount of job creation and economic development in the state."

Construction jobs fell to the lowest number in Iowa in 10 years.

Even with the $875 million (plus interest) I-JOBS borrowing scam?

What does the Governor have to say about that?

"Well, obviously you've got weather related issues".

"You talk to anyone in this business right now and we've had a unprecedented amount of rain in a very short period of time".

But, I-JOBS began in 2009.

CONstruction joBS!

Culver-Judge, just as phony as Milli Vanilli.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the rain
Blame it on the stars
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you

Who are you blaming that tie on?

Who gets the blame for the brown shoes with a black suit?

Tuesday afternoons have just been brutal to the Big Lug Nut.


Obama and the Dummycrats have never met one of your tax dollars they didn't want to spend.

The party of dough needs to learn how to say no and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The man who's administration told us unemployment would rise no higher than 8%, last figured at 9.5%, is mad that CONgress has yet to authorize borrowing $34 billion to fund another extension of unemployment benefits.

Since 2008, Congress has boosted unemployment insurance from the usual 26 weeks to as much as 99 weeks for people in the worst-hit states. The standard payout is funded by a tax on companies in most states. But extensions aren't, and various extensions since 2008 have added at least $65 billion to the national debt.

Turns out Obama needs to be mad at the man in the mirror, as he added to the unemployment rolls by tens of thousands when his auto task force pressed General Motors and Chrysler to close scores of dealerships.

It is not at all clear that the greatly accelerated pace of the dealership closings during one of the most severe economic downturns in our nation’s history was either necessary for the sake of the companies’ economic survival or prudent for the sake of the nation’s economic recovery.”

How does this man have any credibility on anything?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Iowa's Biggest Slot Machine

The Big Lug Nut personally solicited political contributions from two of the four groups that applied for casino licenses.

Culver solicited second casino group

The state got a real lemon with this governor and the scientific community is united in that fact.


Master Blaster

An Associated Press story, that appeared in the online Cedar Rapids Gazette, about Senator Charles Grassley makes Dummycrats look inept.

In anti-incumbent year, Grassley looks strong

Democratic strategist Ron Parker(?) is quoted saying this about Grassley...

He is a master, particularly in election years, of making it appear that he just came off the farm in Butler County. "

Parker continued with...

He’s a master at moving to the center.”

Very good, Grasshopper.

Thank you Master.

Parker proved a master of the mixed metaphor, and the scientific community is united in that fact, when he said...

Roxanne Conlin has got to crack that nut and it’s a big mountain to climb.”

Ouch, I think I got a g-g-groin injury over that one.

Rozanne, err Taxanne Conlin's spokesperson, Mark Daley, became the latest Dummycrat to give a backhanded slap to President Obama when he said...

Chuck Grassley has been a household name since before Barack Obama was alive.

"He’s been around a really long time.”

That's ageism and yet again Obama is likened to an Iowa Republican (Uncanny).

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Power To The People

The lights first flickered then went on and off three times, at 3:45 a.m. (in the morning), before finally going completely dark.

Fifteen hours later, MidAmerican has us back online.

It could have been worse, it could have been yesterday when I really needed the air after four hours of mowing the Not So Vast Right Wing Ranch.

It gave me a chance to catch up on some reading, the mail, crossword puzzles, plus the phone doesn't ring.

All in all, I prefer being offline on my own terms and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Iowans For Responsible Government?

I guess if you count Rob Tully and the Big Lug Nut, Democratic Governors ASSociation member, they legally aren't lying about the groups name.

Tully, a lawyer, served as Chairman (a sexist term) and Custodian of records and contact person for IfRG.

It doesn't look like, for now, that Tully was compensated for his duties.

That moves the legal profession down a few notches in my book, below prostitutes - because there are some things hookers won't do and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Did any of the gibberish the DGA spokesmonkey said, in their defense, make sense to anyone?

"Branstad continues to run a false and deceptive campaign, and he is not who he says he is. We have and will continue to expose the parts of his record that he would prefer to keep hidden."

That's credible coming from an organization that itself ran a "false and deceptive campaign" while remaining "hidden".

"Our job is to win races. Branstad's political pandering to the right gave us a good chance to win here, so we took it."

A good chance to win?

Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics, said the Democratic Governors Association's role in the Iowa Republican primary reflects desperation.

"Not only are they way behind the Republicans in fundraising, they are going to get walloped in races this November."

Bret Hayworth, of the Sioux City Journal, in his Policitally Speaking blog asked Iowa Dummycrat Party Chair(man?) Sue Dvorsky if this is something which Democrats should be ashamed?

Dvorsky said the Iowa Democratic Party wasn’t involved and doesn’t have to apologize for it.

Maybe not directly, but former IDP Chair(man?) Michael Kiernan involved them when he said -

I love what Rob Tully’s doing...".

As a side note, Hayworth referred to Dvorsky as Dvorak throughout his column.

Crank It Up?

The TV Weather Wienies have been known to tell viewers to crank the AC up when it gets hot outside.


Turning the thermostat up effectively shuts the air conditioning off until the inside temperature reaches the higher setting and the scientific community is united in that fact.

From the Cedar Rapids Gazette comes this headline...

Keep your AC cranked this weekend, the heat is on

It seems to me you'd work up a sweat having to crank the AC.

Do you suppose the Gazette still puts out their product via hand cranked presses?

Friday, July 16, 2010

July, 2010 (Oh, What A Night)

I recall it was Thanksgiving 2005 and I was waiting for Chris to get ready, so we could go to her folks.

I was flipping through channels on the television (as a man is want to do) and came across the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

In front of the store there was a guy singing Frankie Valli songs, I watched and enjoyed.

When it was done, and Chris still wasn't, I asked if Broadway was doing something on the Four Seasons similar to Smokey Joe's Cafe.

She said she had seen something in Playbill and we decided we would see the show when it came to the Civic Center.

We got tickets when they went on sale and last night I took Chris and her mother to Jersey Boys.

All in all it was an enjoyable evening, others like my friend Cal (Freedom's pal) and his wife liked it more than I did.

I was hoping it would be a very special time for me, but it was not everything I dreamed it'd be.

Another Peggy Lee moment and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I wish they would have finished their hit songs and given the audience less of the opening french rap, '50s songs by other groups and the weak version of "My Boyfriend's Back" by The Angels.

They could have also told the story around the music, just like Smokey Joe's Cafe.

For me singing "Oh What A Night", recorded in 1975, during the 1960s time period -sans falsetto - didn't work.

It was odd that an entire row in front of us was empty, obviously that's where the ticket prices changed.

There were a few standing ovations, a good amount of laughs and Chris thought she saw Bob Gaudio at the end of the show.

Frankie Valli was supposedly sighted having dinner at the Savery Hotel after the show.

I was at a hotel in Denver, maybe 15 years ago, and came across Mr. Valli in the lobby.

He's an incredibly short man and its not just because I'm tall.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Just Good Ol' Boys

An aide to CONgressman Leonard BOZOwell has let the cat out of the bag by leaking Bill Clinton will be headlining a July 25 fundraiser.


Bubba aren't square, Bubba are round - cornbread are square and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Warren County will welcome them, that's apropos, even though its part of BOZOwell's former district.

Here's a picture of the shack they'll be having their hoedown in.

BOZOwell (pictured) is showing off the technology "they can bring us" thanks to us doing "all the science that we can."

In a related development, our friend Pat notified me that if you Google Leonard BOZOwell it pulls up Leonard's web page like nobody's business!

Partial Score

The following headline made me think of another cartoon I received from my friend Fuzzy.

Eleanor Clift: Obama's Poll Numbers Down Because He Hasn't Blamed Bush Enough

With all do respect to John McLaughlin and his group -- Eleanor, Gee I DON'T Think You’re Swell-eanor and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The title refers to a George Carlin routine.

Hot Hot Hot

96 degrees, welcome to the July in Iowa I grew up with and the scientific community is united in that fact.

In the immortal words of Paris-ite Hilton --That's Hot!

Remember, "Cold is STUPID!"

I cleaned up the reaction from the not so sweet corn cartoon I received from my friend Fuzzy.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Some ConTEXT

Time magazine's Mike Grunwald has hopped on board the elitists railroad train push.

The magazine highlighted this sentence from the article...

You wouldn't have to watch the road, wait in traffic, find parking or risk arrest or an accident by drinking or texting

No train accidents from texting?

Someone was asleep at the switch when that was written and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I guess it was too much to ask an editor to get off their caboose and check their archives.

This accident occurred in 2008 --

'Texting' clue to LA train crash

Couple that with this texting related crash from 2009

Boston Green Line Train Crash that Injured Dozens is A Reminder of Why Text Messaging And Driving Don’t Mix

That's all I've got for the short haul, see you back at the yard.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Sad Panda?

This is what hurts in John Deeth's From The Left Ragister blog post

GOP bloggers get krude on Conlin

He left out the sweat on the Big Lug Nut, how can you miss that?

I can't figure out if I'm supposed to be Beavis or Butthead and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The headline, Headlights On The Parade, came from a YouTube search of the word parade. The song and the picture made the double entendre easier.

Out of deference to Conlin's age and how tender of an issue it can be for women, I didn't focus on her underarm fat.

What I'm taking away from this is that it's okay to make fun of men, but not women (unless they're Sarah Palin).

Also, women want to be treated differently than men.

My best half, Chris will just love the CUUUUUUTE Panda pictures.

Deeth continues to dole out compliments to IowasNewzLiter by citing us as longtime prominent bloggers.

Glad Panda!

Listen, Do You Want To Know A Secret?

The Big Lug Nut was overheard at the recent National Governors Association conference telling California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger his size was accomplished all without steroids.

Donuts and double fisting can do the same for you too and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Culver makes Schwarzenegger look like a little girly man.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Obama - The Red Ink Ranger

Hi Ho Ruby!

With his faithful idiot companion, Joe, Barack Obama helped guide the United States to the third-largest one day increase in the nations debt in U.S. history.

All three of the biggest one-day debt increases have occurred under the tenure of President Obama, and all of the top six have been in the past two years.

The federal deficit in June surpassed the $1 trillion mark for the second straight year and is on track to be the second-highest deficit in history.

It's enough to make the country wonder, who was that last man?, when they inaugurate the next President.

CONgress is expected again to take up extension of unemployment benefits with a price tag of $35.5 Billion, it has not passed because Dummycrats are against attempts to make it deficit neutral.

Why do they want to hurt unemployed and future generations of Americans?

They could just recoup the $7.1 billion in over payments and they'd be a fifth of the way there.

Writing of which, Rozanne, err Taxanne Conlin's reaction to Wells Fargo Financial announced layoffs was a little cart before the horse and the scientific community is united in that fact.

She already wants them on the unemployment rolls before Wells Fargo can find them other jobs in different units.

If she's so concerned, why doesn't she open up her taxpayer subsidized housing to these people at a lower rent?

Notes From The NGA

Iowas Newz Liter was able to decipher some of the scribbles that the Big Lug Nut made to himself during the recent National Governors Association meeting.

Here are the top 5 and the scientific community is united in that fact.

1) Remember to write with the pointy end of pen.

2) Get better antiperspirant.

3) Add campaign to next disaster declarations.

4) Go back to coaching job after November 2, preferably at Iowa State.

5) Sue Cooking Channel for stealing my slogan - "Stay Hungry" and while I'm at it, sue Dos Equis and QCI for stealing my slogan - "Stay Thirsty".

In Case You Missed It

It was under reported in recent news, but Lt. Governor Patty Judge attended the ribbon-cutting for the grand opening of the new Go Daddy offices in Hiawatha.

There apparently was some sort of wardrobe malfunction during the ceremony.

It didn't involve Danica Patrick, unfortunately, and the scientific community is united in that fact.


One would think since she didn't take a 10% pay cut that she could afford better clothes.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

He Shall Be LeBron

I wasn't in to this whole LeBron James hype until he was able to, according to this headline in the online Ragister, take down the Iowa Barnstormers.

Iowa defense doesn't hold and offense can't finish LeBron James brought us to our knees

King James accomplished all of this without even playing in the game and the scientific community is united in that fact.

He is truly sports Chosen 1.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

There Is Love

I see I'm not the only one who finds the humor in this whacked out headline.

Clinton to Perform Weiner Wedding

I did not see that coming, but I'm sure he'll do a bang up job and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Bill Clinton will officiate with all the dignity and respect the ceremony deserves.

I hope for her sake, the bride is wearing a white dress.

Money (That's What I Want)

Here are two stories from the same day, but with different results.

ISU men's basketball: Cyclones paying departed assistant $175K

Nick Nurse agreed verbally to become an assistant coach for Greg McDermott on April 22 , at a salary of $130,000 per year for two years.

Nurse was to begin his duties on May 10.

On April 26 McDermott agreed to become the coach at Creighton.

For not working one day, Nurse makes off with $175,000, plus he got his old job back.

Call me "Coach" King of SNARK and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Then there's this -- KCCI TV8 meteorologist Bryan Karrick resigned last week without a job.

"I had a job offer in the Twin Cities that didn't pan out at the last second, so I'm continuing my leap of faith, with hopes of finding something...".

Hey Bryan, Iowa State's hiring.

The Secret Is Preparation

After hearing of another Iowa football player being arrested, I believe Head Coach Kirk Ferentz is probably well prepared for any incident and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Here is Ferentz's generic statement --

I was very disappointed to learn of the [state the incident] involving [insert players name].

He will, as a result, receive counseling and will attend an educational program. He will also receive some form of suspension and will do community service.

I still need to get all the facts concerning the incident. But, the matter and punishment will be handled internally.”

It's about as boring as his offense, but it seems to get the job done.

Friday, July 09, 2010

When PIGS Fly

The Dummycrat who wants to be Iowa's Agriculture Secretary appears to be Thicke headed.

He's getting kudos for highlighting a poster that has cows and dolphins flying.

This is just wrong on so many levels and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Dolphins leap, but not in Iowa.

I expect my Ag Secretary to know it's "when pigs fly" and "till the cows come home" especially if he grew up on a hog and dairy farm.

Only talking mules are named Francis.

Miller Lite

Add Attorney General Tom Miller's name to those Dummycrats that didn't take a 10% pay cut to his taxpayer paid $124,000 salary.

Miller also wouldn't ditch a friend, Lynn Walding, no matter how much taxpayer money he misspent.

Iowa alcohol agency kept unspent money, memo says

The Attorney General went all legal eagle in defending his recommendation that the Big Lug Nut not let Walding go...

"After a staff review of the memo and applicable Iowa statutes, the office concluded that the allegations contained within the five-page memo were not sufficient to warrant removal of an appointive state officer by the Executive Council under the standards set forth in Chapter 66.26 of the Iowa Code."

Per the Ragister -- The law cited by Miller says that administrators such as Walding can be removed from office for habitual or willful neglect of duty, willful misconduct or maladministration in office, or a failure to produce and fully account for all public funds in the employee's hands.

It must depend on the meaning of the word "sufficient" and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Tom Miller must go.

Huh Duh

The Deputy Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), Ron Sims, visited Des Moines, Iowa.

Sims, from Washington state, insulted Iowans by calling their capitol city Des Moinez.

No, that's a city near Seattle and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Sims also confused the Iowa Hawkeyes with the Kansas Jayhawks -- “I did this morning, as a gift from the HUD staff, get a Iowa Jayhawks jersey...".

Sims is number two at HUD, and now with Iowans too.

As the second most senior official at HUD, Sims manages the Department's day-to-day operations, a nearly $39 billion annual operating budget, and the agency's 8,500 employees.

That's not frightening.

The Secretary of HUD is Kathleen Sebelius, previously Governor of Kansas that is home to the Jayhawks.

I do love how O.Kay Henderson called Sims, Rons.

That seems fair.