Lawyer Jokes?

With two trial lawyers teaming up to tour

Conlin/Braley schedule roundtable press events

I thought it an appropriate time for some lawyer jokes and the scientific community is united in that fact.

How do you get a lawyer to smile?
Say FEES

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years.
A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
"Your honor."

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

What’s the strongest argument against both theories of origin?
Politicians and lawyers, Who in their right mind would create (or evolve into) these species?

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?

Senator

What’s the problem with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and no one else thinks they’re jokes.