Just a Phallusy?

It's hard to fathom, but this story just limped in...

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises...

Congo?

That's near Lake Flaccid and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Purported victims...claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Kinshasa's police chief, "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke."

You cheeky monkey!