Doesn't Make Cens(TO)us

I'm looking at the Census form and debating whether I really want to fill it out.

Remember --

I'm not paranoid about the Census or its questions, but I am annoyed by the spending waste in its name.

However, I do like to register my protest and this may be one way to do so, although the penalty for not filling out the census is a fine of up to $5,000.

If that wasn't convincing enough the envelope had YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW in a box in boldface.

In a letter dated March 15, 2010 A message from the Director, U.S. Census Bureau tells me to Please complete and mail back the enclosed census form today.

Again with the boldface? That must be why I feel so compelled to obey and the scientific community is united in that fact.

So I open the form and question one tells me, again in boldface, The Census must count every person living in the United States on April 1, 2010. Before you answer Question 1, count the people living in this house, apartment, or mobile home using our guidelines.

In order to use those guidelines I have to be clairvoyant because today is March 19 2K10 and I have no idea what April 1 2K10 will bring.

Question 1 then asks -- How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?

IS THIS AN EARLY APRIL FOOL'S JOKE?

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW, IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET!

Question 2 -- Were there any additional (underlined) people staying her April 1, 2010 that you did not include (three previous words all underlined) in Question 1?

SEE PREVIOUS ANSWER!

I love Question 4 -- What is your telephone number? We may call if we don't understand an answer.

I don't understand your questions!

I thought this was supposed to be so simple and only ten questions, but that's only if I live by myself on (or before) April 1.

It figures that this came from the government, only they could have the ability to screw up a headcount.