Process This

There's something wrong in football when a receiver, in the end zone, jumps up and catches the ball and comes down with both feet inbounds; gets knocked on his rear inbounds in the end zone; has his free hand touch inbounds in the end zone; rolls over and the hand with the ball touches down inbounds in the end zone and it's called an incomplete pass(?) -- because the ball comes out of his hand as he starts to get up.

Then I'm told by the announcers and the former head of NFL officials that it's a process?

The "process" screwed the Detroit Lions out of the game winning touchdown against the Chicago Bears.

When the term "process" comes into football, the fun goes out and the scientific community is united in that fact.

As long as I'm processing yesterday's game on FOX, I have to note that I hate their new letterbox look.

Joe Buck called it widescreen and alluded to it being more lifelike, I believe he said something like it's how we see the world.

If I see the world with black bars at the top and bottom of my vision, I'm going to a doctor ASAP.

If it's so wonderful, why doesn't FOX show the commercials and their promos in widescreen?

Can we chip in and get the FOX affiliate, KDSM, color bars so the uniforms won't look so washed out?

I saw the start of the Packers-Eagles game on NFL Sunday Ticket, while KDSM was wrapping up the Lions-Bears game, and the Eagles uniforms were actually Kelly green.

They turned putrid when I tuned to FOX 17.

Boy On Top Of The News

Somebody at KDSM FOX 17, or WHO TV HD, has some splainin' to do after running a newscast from November 13 during halftime of the Packers - Giants game yesterday.

It made our guy, Dave Price, look bad with this lead story...

FATAL ACCIDENT: Des Moines Officials found a man under a car in an accident Sunday afternoon.

Weather Boy Blunder, Brett McIntyre, looked just as bad with a weather forecast for Monday that predicted a high of 55. Per the National Weather Service the high in Des Moines on Monday November 14 2011 was 62.

That's considered an accurate forecast for TV Weather Wienies.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

False Claim(s)!

Sunday the Ragister ran a house ad, or self promotion, that stated "More People Will Read The Register Today Than Will Watch The Big Game".

They then stated, "With a combined print and online audience of 587,878 readers, The Des Moines Register is a tremendous scoring opportunity".

The ad and its claims are as clear as mud and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Sunday's Super Bowl (XLIV) was the most-watched program in U.S. television history, Nielsen estimated Monday that 106.5 million people watched the Super Bowl on average and 151.6 million tuned in overall.

It will take awhile for the numbers to be in for Central Iowa, per KCCI not until the end of March, but let's just look at some history.

For Super Bowl XLII in 2008, around 465,000 viewers watched the game (per KDSM FOX 17).

Per WHO, there were no local ratings for Super Bowl XLIII, in 2009, because the switch to HD took place in February and Nielsen delayed the ratings period until March.

However, that was the second most watched Super Bowl in history with an average of 98.7 million people tuned in, so it would not be impossible to imagine it would beat the previous years ratings.

It appears that the Ragister is using numbers from Scarborough Research of November 2009 and the figures are weekly print and online.

That averages out to 83,982 readers per day and is far less than an audience of 465,000.

Stay Tuned!

Killer

I guess I shouldn't have been stunned when WHO HD Sport-O Keith Murphy stood in front of a graphic, during the Tuesday 6 p.m. newscast, that spelled out the last name of the Minnesota Twins Hall of Famer as Killibrew.

After all, they've misspelled the name of their own sports guy, Chris Hassel, before and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I was saddened to learn Murphy didn't change it for the sports segment he does on KDSM Fox 17 at 9:50 p.m.

It was even more disheartening later learning that Murphy is the Iowa Sportscaster of the Year.

That's news to me

It appears WOI TV/5 has replaced anchor Lisa Carponelli (left) with Rachel Pierce.

Pierce moves to 5 from Omaha's WOWT.

Iowas Newz Liter is not sure that's a step up and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Carponelli is apparently moving to WHO TV/13 as an anchor, wonder who's out there?

Elsewhere around the dial, Sinclair has brought back Tiffany O'Donnell, at least at KDSM FOX/ 17.

I'm not sure if she's back on the air at KGAN or KFXA in Cedar Rapids.

























You may recall Tiffany was dumped for Beauty Queen, Miss Iowa 2003, Linsey Grams.













Back to you!

Ariel?

WHO TV's newest weather wienie is getting some face time.

Arielle Nixon is from GEORGIA.

The Liter thinks her name should be pronounced AIR-ielle, after all she is ON AIR talent.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

You can read her complete biography here.

Not sure who the Norman New Guy was doing sports on their News at 9 on KDSM FOX 17 last night, turns out it's John Sears, but it was unprofessional to start laughing, on air, when he found out his segment was over and they wouldn't be coming back to him after the commercials.

What If

I generally detest the "What If" game.

It's annoying when applied to sports, if the season ended today, and it's reared its ugly head twice in political news(?) in the last few hours.

Thanks to the latest Wall Street Journal/NBC News Survey, both the anchorette for WHO TV HD News at 9 on KDSM FOX 17 and a columnist for the Washington Examiner played the If the election were held today angle.

If the election were held today, it would violate the Constitution and numerous laws and the scientific community is united in that fact.

So stop it!

You can count on Coulter

Who Knew Congressman Foley Was a Closeted Democrat?

By Ann Coulter

At least liberals are finally exhibiting a moral compass about something. I am sure that they'd be equally outraged if Rep. Mark Foley were a Democrat.

The object lesson of Foley's inappropriate e-mails to male pages is that when a Republican congressman is caught in a sex scandal, he immediately resigns and crawls off into a hole in abject embarrassment. Democrats get snippy.

Foley didn't claim he was the victim of a "witch-hunt." He didn't whine that he was a put-upon "gay American." He didn't stay in Congress and haughtily rebuke his critics. He didn't run for re-election. He certainly didn't claim he was "saving the Constitution." (Although his recent discovery that he has a drinking problem has a certain Democratic ring to it.)

In 1983, Democratic congressman Gerry Studds was found to have sexually propositioned House pages and actually buggered a 17-year-old male page whom he took on a trip to Portugal. The 46-year-old Studds indignantly attacked those who criticized him for what he called a "mutually voluntary, private relationship between adults."

When the House censured Studds for his sex romp with a male page, Studds -- not one to be shy about presenting his backside to a large group of men -- defiantly turned his back on the House during the vote. He ran for re-election and was happily returned to office six more times by liberal Democratic voters in his Martha's Vineyard district. (They really liked his campaign slogan: "It's the outfit, stupid.")

Washington Post columnist Colman McCarthy referred to Studds' affair with a teenage page as "a brief consenting homosexual relationship" and denounced Studds' detractors for engaging in a "witch-hunt" against gays: "New England witch trials belong to the past, or so it is thought. This summer on Cape Cod, the reputation of Rep. Gerry Studds was burned at the stake by a large number of his constituents determined to torch the congressman for his private life."

Meanwhile, Foley is hiding in a hole someplace.

No one demanded to know why the Democratic speaker of the House, Thomas "Tip" O'Neill, took one full decade to figure out that Studds was propositioning male pages.

But now, the same Democrats who are incensed that Bush's National Security Agency was listening in on al-Qaida phone calls are incensed that Republicans were not reading a gay congressman's instant messages.

Let's run this past the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals: The suspect sent an inappropriately friendly e-mail to a teenager -- oh also, we think he's gay. Can we spy on his instant messages? On a scale of 1 to 10, what are the odds that any court in the nation would have said: YOU BET! Put a tail on that guy -- and a credit check, too!

When Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee found unprotected e-mails from the Democrats about their plan to oppose Miguel Estrada's judicial nomination because he was Hispanic, Democrats erupted in rage that their e-mails were being read. The Republican staffer responsible was forced to resign.

But Democrats are on their high horses because Republicans in the House did not immediately wiretap Foley's phones when they found out he was engaging in e-mail chitchat with a former page about what the kid wanted for his birthday.

The Democrats say the Republicans should have done all the things Democrats won't let us do to al Qaeda -- solely because Foley was rumored to be gay. Maybe we could get Democrats to support the NSA wiretapping program if we tell them the terrorists are gay.

On Fox News' "Hannity and Colmes" Monday night, Democrat Bob Beckel said a gay man should be kept away from male pages the same way Willie Sutton should have been kept away from banks. "If Willie Sutton is around some place where a bank is robbed," Beckel said, "then you're probably going to say, 'Willie, stay away from the robbery.'"

Hmmmm, let's search the memory bank. In July 2000, the New York Times "ethicist" Randy Cohen advised a reader that pulling her son out of the Cub Scouts because they exclude gay scoutmasters was "the ethical thing to do." The "ethicist" explained: "Just as one is honor bound to quit an organization that excludes African-Americans, so you should withdraw from scouting as long as it rejects homosexuals."

We need to get a rulebook from the Democrats:

-- Boy Scouts: As gay as you want to be.

-- Priests: No gays!

-- Democratic politicians: Proud gay Americans.

-- Republican politicians: Presumed guilty.

-- White House press corps: No gays, unless they hate Bush.

-- Active-duty U.S. military: As gay as possible.

-- Men who date Liza Minelli: Do I have to draw you a picture, Miss Thing?

This is the very definition of political opportunism. If Republicans had decided to spy on Foley for sending overly friendly e-mails to pages, Democrats would have been screaming about a Republican witch-hunt against gays. But if they don't, they're enabling a sexual predator.

Talk to us Monday. Either we'll be furious that Republicans violated the man's civil rights, or we'll be furious that they didn't.

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Pictured are two reasons to vote Republican.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi (gettin' kinky with it) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (DOH).

Only YOU can prevent HIGHER TAXES andTERRORIST ATTACKS!

Sexual Healing?

Fox News flubbed when they ran this banner under a picture of FORMER Republican Congressman Tom Foley.

I can understand the confusion, it's usually DUMMYCRATS involved in SEX SCANDALS!






I'm weary of Hypocritical Dummycrats who give free passes to other Dummies, because IT'S JUST SEX!

Please your FAUX-rage is INSULTING!!














Especially YOU CommieTommie Harkin!

Here's what the Commie told the Ragister about the Foley scandal....

he supports a full investigation by the Department of Justice.

"But the Republican leadership bears some blame for failing to take stronger steps when it appears they knew long ago about Foley's shameful behavior.

"Rather than taking stern action against Foley and protecting the pages that work in Congress, the Republican leadership instead chose to ignore it, hoping the problem would go away.

CommieTommie was a member of the Dummycrat controlled House of Representatives when Gerry Studds (D-MA) propositioned 3 male teenage pages and had sex with one 17 year old page.

Studds was later censured by the House, there's a serious rebuke, and turned his back as the censure was being read.

CommieTommie where are your hands in the picture?

Where are you tickling Elmo?

Are you molesting Muppets?