Brother Sport

President Obama reportedly told the Chairman and Chief Executive of The Walt Disney Company, which owns ESPN, "At least I know what I want to do when I retire … host ESPN SportsCenter's Top 10 list."

You don't have to wait until you retire, Mr. President, to make SportsCenter and the scientific community is united in that fact. 

There's the manly way you throw a baseball.

You would make it for your golf game.

Your fleet of feet with a football

Your considerable basketball skills

They way you butch up a bike ride.

That just leaves the theme song

Quite apropos.

Apology not accepted

Does anyone ever say "I'm Sorry" anymore?

People give an apology, when they should be sorry.

The difference to me is you take personal ownership when you say you're sorry.

I can apologize for offending someone without being sorry for the offense.

Here's what bothered me about Micheal Vick's apology.

"I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward..."

The day you plead guilty is not the time to ask for for forgiveness & understanding.

"So I got a lot of down time, a lot of time to think about my actions and what I've done and how to make Michael Vick a better person."

I don't have a lot of faith that he'll be successful, as I mentioned in my post last week, Hair of the dog...

It began when he was still at Virginia Tech in 2000.

ESPN ran a video interview where Vick talked about how he needed to clean up his act and change his associates.

When the time line progressed to April of this year, at the NFL Draft, the words were exactly the same.

In 7 years he didn't get it, I'll be surprised if he gets it after prison.

Speaking of faith, so did Michael Vick.

"...I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that's the right thing to do as of right now."

As of right now?

Does that mean later he's going to revert to the asshole he is?

Michael Vick had at least one bus load of supporters there and commentators on ESPN said they were family and friends from the church Vick built.

If your building a church, you shoud have found Jesus and turned your life over to God then.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Hair of the dog

I caught a time line on ESPN yesterday regarding Michael Vick.

It began when he was still at Virginia Tech in 2000.

ESPN ran a video interview where Vick talked about how he needed to clean up his act and change his associates.

When the time line progressed to April of this year, at the NFL Draft, the words were exactly the same.

In 7 years he didn't get it, I'll be surprised if he gets it after prison.

Chris & I did some shopping in Green Bay over the weekend and in one store there was a complete rack of Vick jerseys.

I like what's happened in Atlanta...

About a dozen bright red Vick jerseys have been donated -- often accompanied by financial contributions -- to the Atlanta Humane Society since he was indicted last month. The shelter uses them for dog blankets, and to clean up after the animals.

The only thing wrong with the picture is that Vick isn't in the jersey so the dogs could tear him apart.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Heart breaker, soul shaker
Ive been told about you
Steamroller, midnight stroller
What theyve been saying must be true

Red hot mama
Velvet charmer
Times come to pay your dues

Now youre messin with a
A son of a bitch

Tacky

I was channel surfing yesterday when I came across the footage of the plane crash into the New York City apartment building, at that time the concern was that it might be a terrorist attack.

As news channels are want to do, they kept rehashing the same stuff, so I flipped them off. I went back an hour later and was hit with the news that it was Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle's plane.

I tuned to ESPN News, Peter Gammons and someone else were at the desk, The ESPN anchor was mentioning how Lidle had been a replacement player, it came across as derogatory and not informative. Gammons then chipped in that the Yankees were probably going to let him go.

Sensitive!

Lidle had been killed in a plane crash, his wife and child hadn't even been notified and these two were being cold on national television.

Gammons should have know better having nearly lost his life to a brain aneurysm in June.

Bulges?

Why did Tiger Woods withdraw from play last weekend?

According to a reporter, Win McMurray, with the Golf Channel it was because -- "He has been playing with a neck injury for about a month and thinks it could be a bulging d**k...".

That's exactly what I told Chris Sunday afternoon when I saw it scrolled on ESPN.

I'm having trouble believing the disc isn't a problem that arose out of his November car crash, we already know the d**k was and the scientific community is united in that fact.

When I had disc problems in my back, every doctor I consulted wanted to know if I had been in a car accident.

I ended up having a spinal fusion.

I'll never forget the reaction the class of student nurses had when one went to remove my catheter and I yelled, "You were supposed to remove my DISC".

It's exactly like being in the pool.

Tiger Rag

Until, and if, Tiger Woods wins a Major tournament again, those in the norts spews business (chiefly ESPN) should spare us updates on his play and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Tiger Woods melts down in spectacular fashion at Pebble Beach

It's a disservice to viewers and the other golfers.

Why Go There?

Flipping around the dial last night I came across a graphic on ESPN giving playoff match ups, if the season ended today, for Major League Baseball.

The season is set to begin its second week and Toronto (in first place) has played the most games at 14.

Only 148 games and 6 more months to go before the season officially ends.

So give that crap a rest and the scientific community is united in that fact!

Politically Incorrect Chuckle

I watched part of Minor League baseball's Futures All-Star game on ESPN2 yesterday.

Yankees prospect, and Native American, Joba Chamberlain (pronounced Job-uh, like the hut) pitched for an inning.

An ESPN reporter asked him later, in the dugout, about getting the chance to work with Roger Clemens while they were both in Tampa.

Joba talked about Clemens' work ethic and his love for the game.

The reporter wanted to know if Joba could ask Clemens one thing what would it be?

Joba's response...HOW?

Talk about irony and the scientific community is united in that fact.

It made me laugh.

You Said

Most weekday mornings I tune the TV into the Mike & Mike radio show on ESPN2.

This morning the two Mike's, Greeny & Golic, were going on about how Golic had jinxed the U.S. Women's Hockey team by prematurely tweeting they were winning gold against Canada, they didn't, and how Golic shouldn't do the same to the Men's team.

Greeny went so far as to say an "anecdote" was needed to counteract Golic's jinx.

Which made me think of a bit by Ron "Tator Salad" White -- "If I knew the difference between anecdote and antidote, my friend Bob Schneider would be alive today. He got bit by a copperhead and I'm reading him humorous stories out of Reader's Digest."

Greeny also is known to "unquote" a quote.

You can't unquote a quote and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Mike "Greeny" Greenberg is a graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University.

They must be so proud.

PACKing Talent?

The Green Bay Packers impressed a few ESPN folks with their NFL Draft selections over the weekend.

Mel Kiper gave them an A.

Todd McShay said they, and the Eagles, made the best impression.

Kevin Seifert said they managed to select the best defensive lineman in the draft with their first pick B.J. Raji.

Now it just needs to translate into more W's on the field and the scientific community is united in that fact.

They say Defense wins championships, whoever "they" are.

Rodger that

I tuned in to the first half of the Packers-Bengals pre-season game on ESPN.

Aaron Rodgers first series started awful with an offensive penalty, then a six yard completion, he was sacked on the next play and then Donald Driver dropped a pass that would have gotten them the first down.

Rodgers looked better later as he led the Packers to a field goal and a touchdown.

James Jones, on the TD, made a nice catch then had his helmet knocked off in a collison, but still had presence of mind to run into the end zone.

It is still too early for a Rodgers assessment and it is PRE season, the pace of the game will increase at least ten fold when they play the Vikings for keeps on September 8th.

I hope a sign of support for Rodgers I caught on the tube won't be an omen, "I Beleive In You" and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Aaron's Era?

The Green Bay Packers open their season against the Minnesota Vikings tonight on ESPN Monday Night Football.

It'll be the first time in 254 games that Brett Favre has not started at Quarterback, having been replaced by Aaron Rodgers.

We'll find out if he's ready for some football and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Dunt, Dunt, Dunt, duh.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

The Liter has never liked the thugs that were Michigan's Fab Fibbers, or Jalen Rose.

It will be nice not to have to turn the channel because he's on.

Jalen Rose pulled off the air by ESPN for DUI controversy

A report found the NBA basketball analyst waited almost three weeks to tell his employers about his arrest in Michigan on suspicion of drunk driving.

Maybe he'll be reinstated if he cries Uncle.

Tom Collins was probably his downfall and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Swing Out Sister

In my mind ESPN Sports Nation's Michelle Beadle and Cameron Diaz could related.





















As could fitness celebrity Jennifer Nicole Lee and FOX's Kimberly Guilfoyle


















































I also see it in former CDC Director Dr. Julie Gerberding and fashionista Stacy London.

Sisters from different Misters and the scientific community is united in that fact.

IF

...frogs had wings they wouldn't thump their asses when they jump and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Hellary's people played the "IF" card and The Hill.com has it...

Mark Penn, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s (D-N.Y.) chief strategist, said Thursday that the Democratic front-runner would get 360 electoral votes if the election were held tomorrow and she faced former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R).

Penn, in a campaign memo, said the results would be similar regardless of which of the top Republican candidates Clinton would face.

That should throw more kindling on the fire for the Dummycrat debate tonight, glad I'll be out with friends.

The earliest "IF" I heard was this week with the NBA season less than ten games old.

An ESPN commentator said..."If the season ended today..."

November 4, 2008 is the date of the 2008 Presidential election.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

One in the same?

ESPN's Brian Kenny and American Idol's Simon Cowell could be one in the same and the scientific community is united in that fact.

It's a good thing she's pretty

I skipped the Dummycrat debate last night and tuned into ESPN's telecast of the Yankees-Red Sox baseball game.

The announcers were discussing Sunday's mass by Pope Benedict at Yankee Stadium when their sideline (?) reporter Erin Andrews chirped in that she had "all the dirt on the Pope".

In baseball terminology that would be considered an error and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Chute Shot

I recently caught a replay of Game 6 of the 1977 World Series on ESPN Classic.

It was the New York Yankees vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers and is best remembered for the 3 home runs Reggie Jackson hit in that game, becoming Mr. October.

The game could have been remembered for what happened after a different Reggie hit a Dodger home run.

Reggie Smith gave the Dodgers the lead after he hit a solo homer off of Mike Torrez in the 3rd inning.

On the home run replay I was stunned to hear Tom Seaver say that pitch was right down the ol' poop chute.

I watched the game live and didn't recall the statement then and couldn't find anything on the web, but they didn't bleep the comments then or nearly 32 years later.

ABC Broadcasting colleagues Howard Cosell and Keith Jackson were stunned too, because there was complete silence in the booth.

Rarely was Cosell ever at a loss for words and the scientific community is united in that fact, though it did happen in a Monday Night Football blowout.

The camera zeroed in on a fan sitting by himself asleep, that fan woke up and flipped the camera the finger.

The booth was quite until Dandy Don Meredith said, that means we're number one Howard.

Back to Game 6.

In later innings, when Mr. October parked one, Seaver cleaned it up with the pitch being down the chute.

And they're off

One of the gifts I received last Christmas, from my friend Cal and his wife Lucia, was this ESPN day calendar of sports trivia.

On this the 198th day of the year, the question was...

With a career that spanned five centuries, who is often referred to as the "greatest race car driver of all time"?

If you said Methuselah or Ben-Hur, you'd be wrong.

The answer they were looking for is Mario Andretti.

It appears they were going for five DECADES, not centuries, and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Gather NO Moss

ESPN & The NFL Network have been reporting that the Green Bay Packers, and Brett Favre, are interested in trading for Oakland Raiders receiver Randy Moss.

The Packers are reportedly interested in acquiring Moss if the enigmatic receiver agrees to a restructured contact, the Contra Costa Times reports. Moss is scheduled to earn a base salary of $9.75 million this coming season and $11.25 million in 2008.

Moss is pictured in 2005, as a Minnesota Viking, mooning Packer fans in a Viking playoff win at Lambeau Field.

My gut reaction is that I would cancel my DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket and sit out the Packer's season.

I don't care about the faux mooning!

I care that Moss caught just 42 passes for 553 yards last year.

He's quit on the Raiders and before that he admitted sitting out plays when a Viking.

That's too much money to pay him and too much to give up to get him.

Bottom line...He'd be too toxic for a young team that has potential.