She Blinded Me With Science

Charles Grassley has found there's a home for deranged scientists at the National Science Foundation.

A senior NFS official spent roughly 20 percent of his work hours, over the course of two years, viewing porn and participating in online chats.

The cost to taxpayers--$58,000.

Let's give them $3 Billion more for stimulation.

"We will restore science to its rightful place"

SCIENCE!

If you don't stop it, you'll go blind and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I guess Biology is one of the natural sciences (AU NATUREL?).

I'm reminded of Sal Mohamed, who was going to solve all our problems with SCIENCE!

Creating News, AGAIN?

Is this another the leasing of the Iowa Lottery story?

Is the Ragister once again putting a news story in the Big Lug Nut's mouth?

Culver aide set to lead party

The Ragister claims Des Moines City Councilman Michael Kiernan, husband of Erin, has been selected to be the new chair of the Iowa Dummycrat Party.

Kiernan (pictured) won't confirm he's talked to BLN and the Party Apparatchik haven't voted.

Culver and Kiernan are said to be close friends, maybe double-fisting buddies?








And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Sacrifice?

The Ragister reports Des Moines City Manager Rick Clark is willing to accept a pay freeze to help the city deal with its $5.9 Million budget deficit.

Clark is paid $198,000 a year.

I'm willing to have my pay frozen at that level too!

The amazing part is people are praising him for his "leadership"...

Councilman Bob Mahaffey--"That's good leadership. We need to look at those kinds of things because we are in a budget crunch and having to lay people off."

Jeff Riese, president of the Polk-Des Moines Taxpayers Association -- "It's a good step for Rick. We're not talking significant dollars here, but it does set a good tone for leadership."

What an insult and the scientific community is united in that fact!

Basu's BFF?

As I was reading RekHA's latest rant (Insurer rules shouldn't trump patient wishes), in the back of my mind I kept thinking that any friend of hers would not be a friend to a fetus.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Anchor's Away

In December, I mentioned that WOI TV5 couldn't spell anchor Chris Flanagan's name correctly on a holiday promo.

The Liter has learned Flanagan/Flangan is leaving to work for WFAA TV in Dallas.

Flanagan/Flangan will anchor the third place morning show.

After four years at WOI TV5, third place should feel awfully familiar and the scientific community is united in that fact.

$5 Foot Long?

Either the Big Lug Nut was really hungry during his budget press conference, or he figures he can make a few extra dollars in a Subway commercial.

The next Jared!

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Des Moines Register photographer John Gaps III captured more of the BLN and it's an understatement to say he is not amused.

Oh Really

Phil Roeder, the Big Lug Nut's spokesman...

“Iowa common sense dictates that you don’t spend money that you don’t have.”

Said the mouthpiece for the man who proposed that the state take on $700 million in debt.

If there's one thing I've learned in over 50 years of living, common sense isn't so common and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The Ragister's David Yepsen lacks it too, writing recently...

If anything, Culver's not borrowing enough.

Hard To Swallow

The more you learn about the "stimulus" package it appears to be put together by a bunch of syphilitic whores.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Per Drudge...

buried on page 147 of the bill is economic stimulation for the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases!

The House Democrats’ bill includes $335 million for sexually transmitted disease (STD) education and prevention programs at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

In the past, the CDC has used this STD education funding for programs that many Members of Congress find objectionable and arguably unrelated to a mission of economic stimulus [such as funding events called “Booty Call” and “Great Sex” put on by an organization that received $698,000 in government funds].

Republicans are also upset that the Dummycrats want...

$4.19 billion for "neighborhood stabilization activities" that could go to non-profit entities like ACORN.

That's just nuts!

Appel A Day

I've been remiss in not mentioning the birthday post card I received from Staci Appel State Senator.

The front of the postcard makes it seem like she's wishing herself Happy Birthday and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The first termer is starting her 2010 re-election efforts early, it must be because her Dummycrat compatriot Mark Davitt was defeated after three terms in the House.

She's good at dropping mail pieces for votes, she has yet to respond to any e-mail I've sent her as a constituent.

Class Dismissed

6.5%

The figure bandied about by the Big Lug Nut and the Des Moines Education Association on Monday.

The BLN wants to cut the state budget by that amount and DMEA wants to increase their compensation by that amount.

The President of the teacher's union said...

"We put forward what we think is a very fair first proposal to the district."

They've got a lot to learn and the scientific community is united in that fact.

"We do know there are some pressures with the proposed budget cuts from Governor (Chet) Culver, but we also know there could be an economic stimulus package."

Culver is recommending an increase in school aid of 2%, instead of 4%.

Csonka'd

It's been a while since we flipped one out, but once again the Ragister wins a Csonka.

Congratulations on showing that you don't even read your own product.

Last Monday they ran an article with this title...

DART requires bus ridership for employees

The first sentence stated...

A new policy at Des Moines Area Regional Transit Authority requires that administrative employees ride the bus at least once a month.

Yesterday, the Ragister gave DART's General manager a rose for asking his administrative staff to ride the bus more often.

There's a huge difference between asking and requiring and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The Ragister continued...

It's always seemed odd that some people who make a living providing a service would not at least occasionally try it out themselves. We are reminded of an old city editor who fumed when he discovered that reporters hadn't been reading their own newspaper.

Maybe that wasn't the best example when you couldn't get the facts right.

Of course last Monday brought another change to their layout, it is possible they just got confused.

I think the publisher summed up the decline of this relic when she said...

It's not the layout that makes the Des Moines Register what it is - it is our people.

Dickheads

House Speaker Nancy Pa-Loser doesn't have a problem adding birth control funding to the economic "stimulus" package.

I have not doubt it's stimulus, I'm just not sure it's economic and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Also in the stimulus package...

$360 million for sexually transmitted disease education.

A Ragister editorial said of the $825 Billion package...

The proposal is big and broad. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

CommieTommie Harkin estimates Iowa's share of the stimulus will be $800 million, including...

$65 million for Title One of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, the major government program for poorer school systems and disadvantaged students, with emphasis on support for reading and math.

$626 million to the Iowa State Department of Education to fund various local school districts' programs.

Maybe it is a good thing they'll be buying condoms, because the for the taxpayer...



BOHICA!

Barack Zedong

For $49.50 you can carry the quotations of President Obama.

The History Company has created Pocket Obama an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama's speeches and writings.

They say it's an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.

That sounds eerily familiar and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Quotations from Chairman Mao was also pocket sized and was an unofficial requirement for every Chinese citizen to own, to read, and to carry it at all times.

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You me power in your gods name
I'm every person you need to be
I'm the cult of personality
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the cult of personality

Not Happy Birthday

LI.

In the immortal words of Groucho Marx...

"You're only as old as the woman you feel" and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Shucks

Chris pointed out that the Ragister's Iowa Ear had used "snarked" in a story they ran.

It's corny to think they read me, must be reading John Deeth.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Chug-A-Big Lug

The Politico article everyone is citing about Governor Lug Nut's double-fisting, doesn't specify what he was drinking or even that he was.

Maybe one was for Mari,who stepped outside for a smoke.

Lord knows she wouldn't want to break any laws.

Double-fisting sounds pornographic and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Smashed?

House Speaker Nancy Pa-Loser related that a favorite Inauguration Day moment was when Marine One lifted off the Capitol grounds, signifying former President Bush's leaving Washington...

"It felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head."

That explains sooo much and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Foster Brooks

Archie Brooks, of CIETC fame, is scheduled to be sentenced for his role in that fiasco.

Brooks has asked for leniency and believes the "extraordinary collateral consequences" of his prosecution is a reason to go easy on him.

We the people are supposed to go easy on him because it's costing him a lot of money for his part in illegal activity he's admitted being guilty of.

It's the Orphan Defense* and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The nerve of some people.

*A boy kills his parents and then asks for mercy because he's now an orphan.

Hail to the Ali'i Nui

212 years after the first peaceful exchange of power in the United States, history bears witness again.

The magazine cover aside, I will wish the new President well for the sake of our country.

I remain highly skeptical, and somewhat fearful, but I will not be like those on the loony left whose deranged desires would rather doom the nation over the hatred they had for 43.

If there is hypocrisy, I will point it out in my usual manor and the scientific community is united in that fact.

God Bless America!

Dumb Anytime

The DUH Moines Ragister is wasting space by giving Daniel Finney his own column DM in the PM.

Here's what he writes about his own work experience...

Once described as a "cancer" by an editor. Also, writing called "ordinary and bureaucratic" by an editor.

That was at his first Ragister run.

Apparently openly loathed by most colleagues at the Omaha World-Herald.

Sacked for blogging from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Flack with a soul, but barely --while at Drake University.

Got laid off because "didn't fit in with the team" at the Old Weird Herald and Indianola Tribune.

Busy failing at three jobs at once--round two at the Ragister.

This is what is passing, per the Publisher, as upholding its tradition of credibility and excellence?

Of course she also said the Ragister would end up different, better.

She's half right and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Eyeful

Actually it was more like awful, having to sit through CBS' Obama-esque promos for their Monday comedies while watching the AFC Championship.





My wife asked if we could CHANGE the channel and I said

















And the scientific community is united in that fact.

My HOPE is they'll fire the fool who decided this ACTION was a good idea.


































Screen captures from the Kansas Citian

My Old School

In their exclusive report on Des Moines School renovations, the Ragister mentioned Cattell Elementary School needed asbestos removal.

Interestingly Cattell's need made the print version, but not the online article.

One wonders why?

I'm even more curious as to why a school built in 1992, my father and I attended the original, has asbestos in it.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Mary Memories

While I didn't know her well, I will always remember Mary Lundby for her hearty laugh, the sparkle in her eyes and her kindness towards me.

Godspeed.

The Perfect Headline

Basu: What a waste

If only it would have stopped there and the scientific community is united in that fact.

The headline, however, continued with...In prison at 17; there 'til 36.

It's another sob story about some thug punk, Nikkolas Kemp, who was convicted of taking part in a robbery at age 17 and stunningly proclaims his innocence.

His family wails about what a "gentle giant" and "cowardly lion" the thug is and how he kept out of trouble, with the exception of a couple of property crimes.

Check Iowa Courts online, you'll find his name listed several times (as of this post the site was experiencing problems with an application error message).

You'll also find the names of his mother (Kandace Kemp) and father (Gary Isom Harris).

Basu also buys into his story of only knowing of the plot, luring a pizza deliveryman to a vacant home across the street from where Kemp lived with his mother and using a brick to knock him down and rob him.

One other person was convicted, of the three total who were implicated.

Kemp appealed his conviction and the Court of Appeals found there was abundant evidence of Kemp's guilt with no miscarriage of justice.

Basu also bitches about Kemp giving a statement to police without a lawyer and without having his Miranda rights read.

The Court of Appeals found the record simply does not support such a claim, the officers merely urged Kemp to tell the truth.

Kemp's story also was sent to the Parole Board for commutation, by The Pickle, and it was denied.

Stay tuned for the next time we have to say...BASU: WHAT A WASTE!

Penny Lane

The penny is undergoing change you can count on in Iowa City.

The Iowa City Public Library will be utilizing a penny smasher that offers a design with a bust of the future president and the word "Obama" on it.

The cost to smash Obama, including the penny, is 51 cents.

That sounds typical for a government entity and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I finally understand those that want to abolish the penny as a nuisance that makes no "cents".

Holy Cod Piece!

Stan Lee, of comic book fame, is set to reveal the first gay superhero.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo doesn't count?

Thom Creed hides his developing superpowers along with his sexuality.

Since Superman changes in a phone booth, Creed will have to come out of the closet and the scientific community is united in that fact.

In what sounds like a stereotype, the story debuts in an hour-long TV drama.

Drama Queen?

How Low Can You Go?

Furlough!

Gannett is imposing unpaid leave of one week on almost all employees and “there will be no individual hardship exceptions.”

Only "essential employees" will be exempted, and new hires, but Gannett could not say exactly how many people would be required to take time off, or how much money the company would save.

I'm stunned that this would happen at the Duh Moines Ragister because it was just days ago we learned...

"There's a general misperception about the fall of newspaper subscriptions. That is not happening in Iowa. "

To any employee, anywhere, getting furloughed be aware of
























because you're getting screwed and the scientific community is united in that fact!

If the real interest was in saving money, furlough's would be issued by income levels.

Those making $100,000 and above would take the week unpaid, with everyone below that level receiving unpaid days or hours.

Most big businesses work better without the big bosses around.

Mass Transit My Ass

"Excellent" is how the Ragister's RekHA described The Big Lug Nut's $700 Million Debt Plan.

She has visions of mass transit and rail running through her head.

As I've shown before, for RekHA and most Fiberals, mass transit is for thee and not me.

Over the summer she was happy with high gas prices...

At the most basic level, it should give a much-needed boost to public transportation.

Except...

I'd have to walk more than a mile to get to the nearest bus stop. That's hardly practical, but if they put a bus stop in my neighborhood, I'd be the first one on.

I'm thinking by neighborhood she means stopping at her front door, having the driver ring the bell with her latte in hand.

It would be the SNOB SHUTTLE and the scientific community is united in that fact!

She also opined...

More commuters may be inspired to ride their bikes to work, a great heart-healthy exercise.

What else can be considered a great heart-healthy exercise?

WALKING!

It's not practical for her to trod the 1.1 Miles from her $300,000 South of Grand (Des Moines' Old Money Neighborhood) to a DART bus stop at 42nd & Ingersoll.

When she took a summer trip to Denver she had a chance to take Amtrak's California Zephyr, she drove instead.

Recently RekHA went on a rant about car dealerships being closed on Sundays, because she "needed" another one.

Basu at her best.

Excellent!

Disqualified

For my money, and some of it is, Timothy Geithner is unqualified to be Secretary of the Treasury.

As I noted in my post, eCONomic CONfidence?, Geithner put together the the original rescue plan for the American International Group (AIG).

Wait, there's more...

Geithner also oversaw and regulated an entire industry whose decline has delivered a further blow to an already weakened American economy. Under his watch, some of the biggest institutions that were the responsibility of the New York Fed — Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and most recently, Citigroup — faltered.

Now comes word that the nominee didn't pay Social Security and Medicare taxes for numerous years for himself and a household employee.

Per the departments own web site, Duties & Functions of the Secretary of the Treasury include formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy (my highlight).

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is the largest of Treasury's bureaus and makes up the largest piece of the Treasury's budget.

Even with all this information, Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said, "He's a very competent guy."

Only in Washington D.C. and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I haven't even touched on his employment of an immigrant housekeeper who lacked proper work papers.

An issue that previously ended the nominations of two women, Zoe Baird and Linda Chavez.

Queen Of Denial

With this Brain Trust it is easy to see why the DUH Moines Ragister continues to tank.

And the scientific community is united in that fact.

Publisher Laura Hollingsworth, with Editor Carolyn Washburn (center) and Editorial Page Editor Carol Hunter (right), has sipped the Gannett Flavor Aid for too long (19 years).

In an interview with her paper, Hollingsworth said...

"There's a general misperception about the fall of newspaper subscriptions. That is not happening in Iowa. "

That quote came after this paragraph...

The paper's daily circulation fell 1.3 percent in its core market — Polk, Dallas, Warren and Story counties — in 2007, the latest figures available, according to the Audit Bureau of Circulations. Sunday circulation dropped nearly 1 percent.

It's no wonder Mark Twain said...

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

Priceless!

Dragging The Line

If two people love each other, shouldn’t they be allowed the same rights, privileges and responsibilities as everyone?

Yet Mika and Anna-Bell were denied those basic tenets as they sought to elope.

All they wanted was to grow old together.

Their union doesn't devalue yours, so don't send the wrong moral message.

Society shouldn't discriminate and deny them the basic human right to marry the person they love and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Mika and Anna-Bell are respectively 6 and 5.

Where do we draw the line?

Financial Plus?

I received the January newsletter from a Credit Union I am a member of and on the front page was this headline...

Skipping a Payment Frees Up Extra Cash

The article stated, "you can skip a loan payment when the time is right for you - twice per year".

They continue...

For your convenience, you can choose the months that work best for you (back-to-back payments are excluded).

That's not really allowing me to choose and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Further down I found...

There is a $25 processing fee for each loan payment you choose to skip (so much for freeing up extra cash).

Will.I.Am An Idiot

I subscribe to Time magazine for two reasons.

I read a lot of magazines when I fly and the rate I paid was almost as cheap as buying the individual issues.

They offered me a laser level that has become a favorite toy for our cat Kismet.

Not only are them lasers mesmerizing, they're difficult to catch and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I digress.

Times 10 Questions segment featured the front man for the Black Eyed Peas and two different answers caught my eye.

You say you don't like politics, but you supported John Kerry and Barack Obama. What got you involved in the process?

The spark was traveling outside America and seeing it from a distance, seeing the way people viewed us. America went from this beautiful country to "Oh my gosh, you guys are so stupid." But America tomorrow could still be the light of the world.

Did you want Fergie to join the Black Eyed Peas? Were you ever concerned that critics would deride you for selling out?

We put Fergie in because of her amazing voice, her edge and her rawness. When you follow your heart, you're never supposed to do things because of what you think people might say. You do it for the opposite reasons...

WHAT?

America remains the light of the world, that's why so many give up so much to get here.

We're supposed to care how others see us, but you're never supposed to do things because of what people might say?

SHUT UP!

My Bad....Back

Just a short post to let you know why there have been no posts.

I have angered my lower back and it has launched an assault on my person hood.

I am improving, slightly, but may need a couple of more days before I'm up to sitting at the computer for an extended period and the scientific community is united in that fact.

You're UNbelievable

For good reasons, conservatives are leery of the United Nations.

In the words of John Bolton...

"The Secretariat building in New York has 38 stories. If you lost ten stories today, it wouldn't make a bit of difference."

Keeping that in mind, I was stunned to see fairly positive comments about President Bush and the U.S. in a Time magazine 10 Questions interview with Secretary General Ban Ki-moon.

Once he takes office, what's the first thing Barack Obama should do regarding foreign policy?
I hope the next Administration will continue what the Bush Administration has been doing. I would like President-elect Obama to make the Middle East peace process a priority and take over the climate-change campaign, in which the U.S. has not been actively participating.
Now that President Bush is on his way out, do you think the U.N. should hold him accountable for the war in Iraq?

The U.S. and her people have made great sacrifices for the peace and security of Iraq; at the same time, the international community should support the Iraqi people so they can enjoy genuine freedom, peace and stability. Let's not discuss what happened in the past too much. We should learn from the past and do more for the future.

Probably more stunning is that Time printed them and the scientific community is united in that fact.

Atta Boy Troy

While watching the Eagles-Vikings game yesterday, Fox commentator Troy Aikman said Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson "left his feet".

This tragic incident occurred during the second quarter after Asante Samuel intercepted Jackson's pass and returned for a touchdown.

Courageously Jackson was able to continue playing the game without said feet.

Troy obviously took too many blows to the head, because Jackson's feet left the ground, but he did not leave his feet and the scientific community is united in that fact.

I once pissed off a flag football referee who penalized me for leaving my feet me after I caught a pass and jumped over an opposing player.

I argued since my feet were still attached to my legs that he had made the wrong call.

His real job was as a teacher.

The Dope

Iowa Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal, Dummycrat/Council Bluffs, on the upcoming legislative session...

"There are three things that state government does — it incarcerates, it medicates and it educates, and after that, there's almost nothing else left in the budget."

Opium for the people and the scientific community is united in that fact.

What more could you want from a Nanny State?

Sugarfoot Rag

I am extremely lucky that my wife seldom gets ticked.

The woman is destined for Sainthood in putting up with me and the scientific community is united in that fact.

She has become increasingly frustrated with the Ragister's inability to deliver the paper.

I talked her into canceling it once, because it never consistently came and it's a rag, but she won't read it online and missed having the crossword puzzle and jumble.

Last Sunday we couldn't get the whole paper, just parts, and yesterday we received no paper.

She called their consolidated customer service line around 7 a.m. (in Oklahoma City I believe) and was advised they were running late, but that it would be delivered.

Around 11 a.m. she walked to our mail box, about a quarter of a mile away, and returned to our residence with empty arms.

Hitting redial on the phone she reached a representative who promised two weeks free.

WOW!

I'm sure in their mind it's a bonus not having to pay for a product they can't deliver anyway.

Flushed With Excitement?

Maybe that should be excrement, like this crappy news for those attending the inauguration...

About 5,000 unheated, unlit, nonflushing "standard" portable toilets are being deployed by inaugural planners for the estimated 4 million folks expected for the historic swearing in.

"Our goal is to make it as enjoyable a day as possible...Inaugural Committee spokesman Kevin Griffith.

Spoke like someone who's never used a KYBO!

One of my major accomplishments was never having to use one while working in downtown Des Moines during the floods of 1993.

It could be worse, at least it's not D.C. in August and the scientific community is united in that fact.

With an expected crowd of 4 million, there will be long lines.

The largest previous record crowd for an inaugural was believed to be the 1.2 million at the 1965 inauguration of the late President Lyndon B. Johnson.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't dead when he was inaugurated!

Finally, what type of facilities would you expect someone named Obama to use?